S 4 Ep. 3: TikTok Famous Bride (@jimmithebride) Reacts to Real Wedding Stories & Your Questions
kat: [00:00:00] Oh my gosh. I just got a notification that my last brides, my bridesman, joined my bach app.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: This has been months in the making. That is true. Thank you. JP . JP is like the only one that gets mentioned in this podcast. Cuz we talk about like the non-traditional, I have other bridesmaids too,
jimmi: oh my gosh. But I mean, I had a Bridesman as well.
kat: Oh, you did?
jimmi: Shout out to Alonzo. He is the most fabulous human he is. And
kat: oh my gosh.
jimmi: He had a hot pink glitter bow tie at the wedding. He was killing it. Oh yeah.
kat: I love it
jimmi: oh my gosh. So Bridesman need the love too.
kat: What's up, bridal Babes. I hope you're ready to talk weddings with me on another episode of Bridal Buzz. Today we have a special guest in the studio. I'll let you go ahead and introduce yourself. [00:01:00]
jimmi: Hi, I'm Jimmy Valdez
kat: a k a, Jimmy the Bride. If you're on TikTok, you've probably seen some of her videos. She got married-
jimmi: October 7th, 2022.
So super recently, and we're gonna talk a little bit about her wedding, but we're gonna also have her respond to some real stories, some real questions from you. And it's just gonna be loads and loads of fun so.
jimmi: Oh yeah.
kat: So Fritz might stop in- the office dog, but we'll see
jimmi: I hope
kat: literally prayers . Well, okay then let's go ahead and get rapid fire into these wedding questions.
I just, I know we're gonna have you and your husband in the studio. We're gonna talk all about how you guys met the proposal, all the details of the wedding planning. But I just wanna have like a rapid fire session for the bridal babes to hear a little bit about who you are as a bride and like the
jimmi: Oh yeah.
kat: The decisions you made, so-
jimmi: okay, great.
kat: Okay, so we already covered your wedding date, October 7th.
kat: Husband's name.
kat: Jj. JJ and Jimmy. How cute.
jimmi: Isn't it cute?
kat: Yes. I love it.
jimmi: I [00:02:00] obsessed.
kat: She's like, I planned that.
kat: you're changing your last name.
jimmi: I am. Yes. That was a hard decision for me. I didn't know what I wanted to do.
And my maiden name was Nelson Reed.
jimmi: And it was actually both my parents when they got married, decided we wanna like combine them.
jimmi: Love that principle.
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: But then I told my mom, I'm like, now I'm in a dilemma because when I have kids I don't wanna have three last names for them.
So I did decide, I thought Jimmy Valdez has a good ring to it.
Yeah. I like that.
jimmi: Yeah. Yeah. So I thought, cool. I thought I'll, I'll change it.
kat: Yeah. That is a hard decision though.
jimmi: And like it was so much harder than I thought.
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: Cause I mean, as a kid you'd always picture your crushes name with their last name and Yeah. It was so exciting.
kat: Like "Mrs. "This"" this. Yeah.
jimmi: Yes. But then when you actually have like the rain on your finger and it becomes real, it's like, wait a minute. And it was kind of hard giving up that identity.
jimmi: Before the wedding. But I will say after it is much easier than I thought.
jimmi: And that has helped a lot. And my husband's been super supportive with him.
My family was supportive of whatever I chose, so that helped a, that's good.
kat: Good. Okay. Yeah.
Okay. [00:03:00] Traditional or non-traditional bride?
jimmi: Ooh. I would say, I would say a more non-traditional, I think I had definitely traditional aspects of my wedding, but I definitely found ways to make it non-traditional and tradition wasn't as important to me in my wedding.
kat: Okay. Okay. Cool.
kat: Natural or glam? Hair and makeup. Look.
jimmi: Oh, glam all the way. I mean, I'm in musical theater, so I was so used to the lights and the makeup and I'm like, Hey, it's my big day. I wanna feel like special and pampered. Yeah. So let's just go for it. So yeah, definitely. Cool.
kat: We have a lot of theater girls in the office.
jimmi: Yes. Theater!
kat: Okay. Did you do a first look?
jimmi: No. Okay. We actually did a first touch.
kat: Yes. So cute.
jimmi: It was the best because my husband, he, that was his one thing, like he is the chillest calmest person ever so, do whatever you want with your wedding. I don't care. But that was his one thing is he wanted to see me first when I was walking down the aisle.
jimmi: And I got married at Kendall Point and there's this huge staircase.
jimmi: So I emerged [00:04:00] on the top of it and oh, it was just like my fairytale moment. But I still wanted that moment of connection with him and intimacy before the whole day started. And so it was kind of interesting cuz we did the first touch and that was so incredible.
We both were crying, laughing, highly recommend, but we kind of did a first touch before the first touch.
jimmi: Because the day of the wedding, probably around lunchtime, I was about to get my makeup done and I was like getting like, I wasn't nervous, like to marry him, but it was just all these emotions came in that this is my day and this is happening.
jimmi: And it happened so fast. Wow. So many moments in the day. I'm like, wait, slow down. I wanna like enjoy this. And, and I was, but I just needed a moment of connection with him. . And so my bridesmaids were amazing. I was like, I just need jj. And he was steaming linens downstairs, running around like crazy, helping out with the day.
But he ran up there, they all coordinated it. They're like, okay, don't look, don't do this. And he was right around the bridal suite and there's a little picture of us like holding hands and I just start crying.
jimmi: And it was exactly what I needed to get those [00:05:00] like overwhelming emotions.
jimmi: Like out of the way and go on with the day.
kat: Yeah. And just like be grounded with him.
jimmi: Exactly. It was-
kat: Love that. Perfect. I love that. Okay, so how many bridal party members did you guys have?
jimmi: I, okay. So we both had seven. So I had my maid and I had a matron of honor, so I had two. Then I had my four bridesmaids and my brides man.
jimmi: And then he had one best man and six groomsmen.
kat: Okay, cool.
kat: What was your theme? Like, if you could put a word to it.
jimmi: Okay. I already, I had it. I, it's, this is it. It's an elegant fall fairytale.
jimmi: That was my whole goal. I mean, I grew up loving princesses. Disney. Yeah. I played Cinderella and a couple years ago, and so definitely Cinderella was a huge theme.
Fall, obviously, October. I had little pumpkins and elegance. I had to, so that was my baby.
kat: I love that. Yeah. I can hear in your voice. You would totally be a, a Cinderella.
jimmi: Yes. Thank you.
kat: Yeah. Um, I, however, was always casted as like the wicked witch or the evil stepmother, so
jimmi: No. Oh my [00:06:00] gosh.
kat: It's just, I like, that's, that's my, like the sound of my voice.
jimmi: You have a great, powerful voice.
kat: Thank you.
jimmi: And I admire that. Oh, yeah.
kat: I appreciate. But I, I can't, I can't be the princess. I just stop laughing at me, Bri.
jimmi: Oh my gosh. .
briana: I'm sorry.
kat: What is so funny to you?
briana: It's the way you said it,
kat: What? The texture of my voice?
briana: No, just the way you were like, "Well, I was cast as the evil step mother" .
kat: Must be nice.
jimmi: Well, hey, for your upcoming wedding, you can be whenever you want that day.
kat: Thank you.
jimmi: So, yes, maybe the ev evil stepmother is also a princess.
Yes. Yes she is. Okay, .
kat: Okay. So what was your color scheme?
jimmi: Ooh, great question. So this has been really popular this year and so it's so funny cuz I picked it last year and I just love seeing it in all these weddings this year. And I call it like a cinnamon rose.
kat: Oh, mm-hmm. .
jimmi: But it's kind of like a mauve-y darker pink mm-hmm. . And it was so pretty. So we had that light pink, lots of silver accents with white, um, because of fall little like orange and burgundy touches here and there. And [00:07:00] so it was, was perfect.
kat: Sounds warm and just romantic.
jimmi: Yes. You nailed it. That's what I wanted.
kat: Did you have a band or a dj?
jimmi: We had a dj.
kat: Cool. What was the flavor of your cake?
jimmi: So we actually had my husband's cousin make our cake.
jimmi: And so we got like really. Creative with it all, like in terms of what design we wanted. And Shia was able to like test it so many times. But what we did is we did like a white sponge cake and then it, the filling was like a caramel.
jimmi: So it was so good.
kat: Oh gosh. Like a, like a caramel, like the texture or like a caramel buttercream?
jimmi: Caramel buttercream.
kat: Okay. Okay.
jimmi: And so that was for us. And then we also had bundtini from Nothing Bundt Cakes.
kat: Love it.
jimmi: Oh so good. And so we did pumpkin spice, white chocolate raspberry and carrot cake.
jimmi: So we did a little cute cake testing with them as well. And so I picked pumpkin spice for my hers flavor.
jimmi: JJ picked carrot cake for his, and then we did an ours, which was the white chocolate.
jimmi: So good. And such a good hit cuz it's like people were dancing and so they just could easily pick one up.
kat: [00:08:00] Yeah.
jimmi: And then of course like a more southern tradition is the groom's cake.
jimmi: So JJ is a huge Naruto anime fan.
kat: Love it.
jimmi: So he had a naruto cake. and he, it was all like strawberry flavored.
kat: Oh my gosh. We're definitely gonna have to show pictures of that in the episode too.
jimmi: Oh, I'll send you, yes. All the pictures for sure. And it's just, it was hysterical cuz I mean him and his friends, huge anime lovers and, but I said a lot of the people at the wedding may not be familiar with what this cake is.
jimmi: Should I-
kat: who is this person? Or what is this?
jimmi: Yeah. Literally cuz it was literally a giant orange cake with like the Naruto headband, which is like, if you watch a show, you get it. Yeah. But I'm like, I had no clue. Yeah. So I asked him, I was like, I mean, I'm huge in wedding di iy, do you want me to make a sign explaining what this is and why you like it?
And he got so serious and he's like, no. , the real ones will know what this is, and they're the only ones that should know. I was like, oh my gosh, okay, and
kat: they're the only ones that get a piece of this
jimmi: cake. Yay. Yeah. He's like, oh no, the only the real ones know my God. Oh my gosh. But it was a hit. Everyone like was like the Naruto cakes.
So I'm [00:09:00] like, all right, that's awesome.
kat: And people ate the groom's cake.
jimmi: They so much more than I thought. I didn't really plan for it. I thought, okay, we'll just have this cake out. Cause it was more of a last minute decision on whether or not he wanted it. Yeah. So we had, I'm like, let's put a few plates, some like forks and knives, but almost all of it was gone, which was wild.
kat: Wow. That's, I'm impressed because that's my one fear of having a groom's cake- is like the two weddings that my cousins have had in the last few years that I've seen, a groom's cake doesn't get touched.
kat: And it's like that. $600, $700 for that cake because it's so gorgeous. And then what do you do with it? So I'm glad people ate it.
jimmi: Oh my gosh, yes. And our catering was great. They were able to put like each, like each of us had a slice of cake from every little bit of it for our to-go box at the end of the night. So we gotta try it too. And it was wonderful.
kat: Love that.
kat: Yay. Okay. Well that's it for my, rapid- ooh. Oh, actually, wait, I take that back. I'm so sorry. Bridal babes.
jimmi: What? I'm excited. An extra one. A bonus one.
kat: Two more. Great. What was your favorite moment on your wedding day?
jimmi: [00:10:00] Oh my gosh. I'm getting chills now thinking about it. There were just so many, and that's the thing I found with my wedding day is that honestly I feel like I blacked out except for these like special moments.
And so, I mean, the ceremony, I had no idea how I would feel during it, but I just felt so like present as soon as I saw him, just the world zoned out. So that was so special. Um, of course, like all the big highlights of getting to like dance with like my dad, I did a mother-daughter dance.
kat: Oh, I love that.
jimmi: It was so, oh my gosh.
And it was a song that was playing when I was born, so.
jimmi: We were just a puddle. I'm just like, you know that when you just can dance with your person and you're just jamming out, you don't care who's watching. Yeah. That's how that was. Oh. But I will, I headed to family dance too with all, I'm the oldest of five.
kat: Oh wow.
jimmi: So all of us gotta do it. And we brought JJ in at the end and ugh, that was so special.
kat: How young is the youngest in your-
jimmi: He is 18.
jimmi: So getting an 18 year old boy to accept doing a flash [00:11:00] mob dance, my brothers are troopers. They both were like,
kat: oh, that's great.
jimmi: All right, we'll do it for you.
kat: I love that.
jimmi: But I will say, now looking back and reflecting, like obviously there's so many moments I can say, but one. Oh, I'm gonna cry. So beyond special was my maid of honor is my sister.
jimmi: And she's my my best friend. And so she gave a maid of honor speech, and she is the funniest human in the world. And when we first started talking about wedding day and her speech, like she's only, she just turned 20, so she was nervous and don't know how it's gonna go.
But she talked about doing, I mean, musical theater.
jimmi: Hamilton . She said, okay, satisfied from that song at the very beginning, it's like a toast to the groom.
jimmi: A toast to the bride from your sister and this union. And so in my head I thought, oh, like she'll tell the DJ to play. It kind of be like, all right, DJ.
Hit it and then play that song. And so I gave her the DJ's information, everything, and we get to the end of her speech. Ooh. And she doesn't, she's not a crier, but she starts singing the song.
kat: [00:12:00] Aw.
jimmi: And she loses it. And so for me, I just immediately just start hugging her.
jimmi: And then my mom says "Sing it together".
Oh. And to get to have that moment.
jimmi: Oh my gosh. I mean, for me, that's one of the most emotional moments of the day to get to share that with her. And, and the song is just so special in that moment. And it was cute. Cause we have so many theater people there, so they're all singing the backup vocals for us
But I'm like-
kat: they're all harmonizing,
jimmi: like literally full harmony, all parts. Everyone was there. But that for me, I have to say, takes the cake in that, oh my gosh. It was just the most special moment. And to just, again, it was one of those things where it's just the two of us in this room.
jimmi: And I've never seen her cry like that.
And she, one second, she started crying. She couldn't stop crying. And it was, that was, oh my gosh, that's the one that takes the cake.
kat: We used to have tissues in the old studio, and I need to like write that down. We need tissues in here. We do have some napkins up there if you need some.
jimmi: Oh, thank you.
kat: Um, wow.
I can't even like, comment on [00:13:00] that because I will get too emotional. . Um, but I, that makes me so happy that your sister did that for you too, because like, is she a performer as well?
jimmi: She is not. Which that made it even more special is that
kat: she did that for you.
jimmi: Exactly. Like she faced her, oh, you're gonna make me cry even more.
I can, but that's it. She faced her fears and she's like, this is a special moment.
jimmi: And I'm gonna do this for you, and then to get to do it together. Oh my gosh. Like, Yeah, that was one of the best moments.
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Okay, on that note?
jimmi: Yep. Recollect.
kat: I have a couple of wedding stories I found on Reddit that I would love for you to just offer your feedback of your reaction and let's just, ooh, see what we have in store.
jimmi: I am here for it. Cuz if you watch my TikTok, I go all through like wedding tips and details of my wedding day helping other brides.
So I am ready,
kat: you're ready to go?
jimmi: I'm ready?
kat: Yes. We are ready for your uh, your expert input and hopefully some Oh, who, who knows what's gonna happen.
jimmi: Oh yeah. . . [00:15:00]
kat: Okay. So this first story is from the Wedding subreddit.
kat: The title is What's Your Funny or Shocking Wedding Moment? My sister collapsed on my wife in the middle of the ceremony.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: Yeah, that's just the title. .
jimmi: Oh no.
kat: So my wife, female 24, and I male 24, got married this last May. It was a fairly small wedding. 50 guests at a venue in the South Wales countryside. We're both very social and knew that it was going to be a fun reunion for many of our friends, and that if anything were to happen that would cause a wince, it would likely to be in the evening once the drinks were flowing.
I love cause a wince. I'm just like, yeah, south Wales perfect . The ceremony itself, we wanted to keep classy and traditional. The venue was a hotel that we stayed at the night before with most of our guests. Everyone had got to know each other in the night before, so there was no need for- so there was no need for introductions at the ceremony, and we hoped this would break the ice.
My groomsman who were single had roles in the ceremony and the bridesmaids just had to accompany my wife. [00:16:00] Now here's the funny. When the ceremony was well underway, the legal parts were covered, and we came to the vows. My best man and the maid of honor were holding onto the vows for us. The maid of honor was also my sister.
When she saw my best man hand me my vows, she panicked because she realized she'd forgotten them.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: She spent the next few minutes in anticipation of not having them with no way to go get them or signal to my wife.
jimmi: The panic.
kat: Yeah, I
jimmi: oh gosh.
kat: I can't even imagine.
kat: When it came to my wife's turn, the registrar had her copy of the vows and handed them to her.
My sister was so relieved that it must have triggered something in her that messed with her breathing in a way that she collapsed. She was sat directly behind my wife and proceeded to fall directly on her, landing on her train, and almost knocking her down.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: This actually happened a few times when she was younger and the best solution was always, has always been to get her into fresh air and wait for her to wake up.
jimmi: Oh my God. .
kat: That's terrifying.
jimmi: That's awful. [00:17:00]
kat: My dad sprung into action and tried to lift her up, but isn't as young as he used to be and has multiple back injuries, so then he proceeded to also fall down. Meanwhile, this is a full
jimmi: on spectacle at this point. Oh my gosh.
kat: it's like the domino effect. Meanwhile, my wife is still unable to move.
Because there's people on her train, . I'm watching all this unfold in horror. Luckily, two of my groomsmen were close at hand and managed to carry my sister outside, and she quickly woke up and she was very upset about the scene. Oh, it was a very hot day and the room was packed. Okay, so you can imagine this probably contributed towards her collapse.
We reassured her it was okay and continued with the ceremony. Everything went smoothly and luckily, wife and. Tried to cheer her up afterwards.
jimmi: Aw. Like on your wedding day to try to cheer her up, like, that's so sweet.
kat: Oh my God. Yeah. Like not your job, but very, very nice. Exactly, she was absolutely fine and she was still able to sign as one of our witnesses,
jimmi: Oh my God.
kat: Why is that like the funniest part to me?
jimmi: That is actually really funny.
kat: he goes, sorry it's so long winded, but [00:18:00] this is my funny wedding moment. It was a bit chaotic on the day, but very funny to look back on what's your funny wedding moment? And then he adds an edit bonus content later in the day.
A friend of mine from uni brought me a drink. I didn't think anything of it until I realized it contained almonds. I don't have a major allergy, but it always brings me up in a very red rash. Luckily the photographers had finished up as it was late in the evening, so no photo evidence, but I had to reassure everyone I saw that it wasn't a big deal.
jimmi: Oh my God.
kat: I'm like, what drink has almonds and why would you serve that at your own wedding? Exactly. That's my only question.
jimmi: Yes. You should be aware.
kat: Oh wow. That's, anyway, not like, not to shame him on that.
kat: But like that's. Just crazy.
jimmi: Yes. After like already What happened in the ceremonies?
jimmi: Oh my gosh. My heart goes out to it.
kat: They're like, who else is gonna stop breathing today?
jimmi: Literally .
kat: So, I mean, that whole story is just crazy. I-
kat: I know. My mom used to have a problem passing out when she was a kid. Oh, okay. Like, she would just like randomly pass out. And then I, I guess it stems from like an anxiety thing.
jimmi: Oh yeah.
kat: But [00:19:00] I wonder what her situation is. Like if there's like a legit disorder that causes this to happen.
jimmi: Yeah. You mean like prevented it or anything?
kat: Right. Like if there's a medication she could be on or like
kat: A warning. She could give people like a little hand signal, like SOS
jimmi: like i'm about to go down ,
kat: I'm about to go down help
kat: Um, so yeah, I guess it's more so a story and then like, do you have any crazy things that happened at your wedding day?
jimmi: Ooh, that is a great question. So there were definitely like little surprises now. Luckily nothing went like too awry or too crazy, which was amazing. I think my wedding coordinator for that.
jimmi: And an essential on wedding day.
jimmi: Um, well, what was really cool is with our photographers, we were doing like a bridal party, like it was a section of that when we were taking our pictures of our whole wedding party.
jimmi: And she has JJ and I kind of like step forward in front of everyone and she talks to them and we're like, okay, whatever and cool. And so he lifts me up and then all of [00:20:00] a sudden they. Tackle us and oh my gosh. Like it is hysterical. Like I was safe. Didn't fall. Yeah. I'm thankfully-
kat: you're like, the fear.
jimmi: Where is the story going? Oh my gosh. But my, like, the facial reactions in these pictures are absolutely hysterical because his groomsmen are like going for it.
They're determined. My face, I'm just like, what is happening? I'm just like clinging to JJ for dear life. I'm like, I cannot die on this day. And then my bridesman, his face is hysterical cuz it just has a look of joy but concern the whole time. And he is like, don't step on her dress, don't step on her veil.
Like had a whole cathedral veil. So that was so funny. Another funny moment of the day was obviously iconic. You have to have this playing at your wedding reception. It is the best thing ever. Dancing Queen by Abba.
kat: Why was that already playing in my head.
jimmi: Um, you know, it, we just we're already on the same wavelength.
kat: Yes. Literally.
jimmi: And so yeah, so that comes on of course. And it's like, Like everyone's pointing to me. That's one of the greatest moments of the day. I'm like, oh my gosh, it's my day. It's my moment. [00:21:00] Yeah. Yes.
kat: Like, she's like, girl,
jimmi: like, I'm like, yes, I'm I'm that girl.
kat: Yes. That's me.
jimmi: Yes. And so that's all happening right now.
Like there's a circle. I'm in the middle of it. Well then my, my dear mother love her to pieces. She, all of her best girlfriends from years are there at this wedding and they love abba. So you see this main dance circle where I am, and you see my mother and she's not cheering me on. Her and her girls are in it.
They're just jamming. And I'm like, mom, what?
kat: I'm the dancing queen .
jimmi: Yeah. Not you guys. And she's like, well, Abba played and we just went for it. I was like, mom-
kat: something was triggered. .
jimmi: Exactly, exactly. So I was like, oh my gosh, it was so funny. I love that .
kat: Um, I think the craziest wedding story I have. Uh, when I was the maid of honor in a wedding and one of the bridesmaids who has since really like reeled it in on her drinking, but at the time she had a little bit too much fun at the reception.
kat: and we were doing the exit.
Okay. Getting our sparklers. Everyone's like, [00:22:00] where is, we'll call her.
kat: Cassandra. Where's Cassandra?
jimmi: Oh, I love Cassandra. Good vibes.
kat: Amy. Let's go with Amy. Where's Amy? Okay. . We're like, I don't know. Where's Amy? We're looking all around. Somebody opens up the door to their getaway car.
jimmi: Amy is sitting inside the getaway car.
Yeah. Amy thinks that we're all leaving in the getaway car together for some reason or something.
jimmi: No. Oh no.
kat: And we have to get Amy out of the car. Her now husband really helped in this. Oh. And I'm pretty sure she threw up on the bus on the way home. Oh. But luckily that was not on the venue's property, so nobody was like charged for the, I'm like, I'm, maybe they did have to pay for the transportation company to clean it. I'm not sure I-
jimmi: but at least they didn't have that venue charge.
jimmi: because guests throwing up at your venue is like an insane fee.
Yes. Oh my God.
kat: Yeah. That was crazy.
jimmi: Yeah. Wow.
kat: That's, we love her
kat: Yeah. She just recently got married too.
jimmi: Oh yes. That's so fun. Oh my gosh.
kat: Congrats Amy.
jimmi: Yes. Amy
kat: Okay. It's so funny. [00:23:00] Let's see if there's any good comments on here. Yes.
jimmi: The top, the comments are sometimes the best part.
kat: Yeah. Literally, because it's like, oh yes. You were thinking what I was thinking about.
kat: Okay. So the top comment says, oh, your poor sister lol. I'm glad she's okay. And that everyone can laugh about it, right?
kat: Our funny wedding moment, so my husband is not generally a crier, but during our ceremony he was practically bawling. Oh. Our officiant. Had been his youth pastor for years, and we knew him well. Anyway, my husband is standing there blubbering while our pastor is speaking, and finally the pastor pauses, wipes his eyes and says, Mr.
Bebe, you've gotta quit this. We all laughed and my husband kept crying, lol. It was so sweet. All of the men I love the most cried on my wedding day, and it was precious. My dad, my brother, my husband, my grandpa, might even have been a bit misty.
jimmi: That's so cute. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Our officiant was a good family friend too.
Yeah. And so I knew I was gonna cry. I'm a sap. JJ knew he was gonna cry. My mother is a sap, and so he's my mom's best friend. Oh. [00:24:00] So he said, I can't look at either you or jj. I can't look at your mom. Who should I look at so I don't cry? And my youngest brother, the 18 year old, is like the most stoic chill dude ever that he was like, I'll just stare at him.
I was like, that's a solid plan.
kat: It's like, I'm your rock.
jimmi: Literally. He's like, I'll just, I'm here .
kat: I love that. Okay, moving on. Next Reddit post. This is also from the Wedding Subreddit. Okay? It is titled Post Wedding Blues and Regrets. Please tell me I'm not alone in thinking. My wedding was not the quote.
Best day ever like everyone claims, it'll be. I got married earlier this month. And don't get me wrong, there are pieces of the day, like our first look that I absolutely loved, but I don't really look back on that day with overall joy. More so anxiety than. About, I wish I would've spent more time with my now husband, danced more, gotten more photos with our dogs, and not been afraid of getting my dress dirty.
Just tell me I'm not alone [00:25:00] because I'm struggling hard all caps, and I know my husband is sick of me venting about it.
jimmi: Oh my gosh. I, that one hits home for sure. Yeah, because that's something that not a lot of people talk about are these post wedding blues.
jimmi: And not only, like when you, I initially thought of the post wedding blues.
I thought, oh, I'll just be crying all the time. No, it's, it's like different stages of grief in a sense. I mean, The anxiety was such a huge thing for me, and so that was something that was very overwhelming and even to this day, like it takes some time for sure.
jimmi: and so that was something I really wanted to touch on on my wedding, TikTok was it's okay to feel this way.
jimmi: It's completely normal because you put. Months, if not years into this day. Of course, you want it to be the best that it can be. Yeah, and I mean there are moments with mine too, and like little things in my head where I was like, well, what about this? And like, oh, the music started too early for this, or what about that?
But one of my bridesmaids gave me great advice and it was that, that day played out how it was supposed to.
kat: [00:26:00] Yeah, true.
jimmi: There was nothing that you could have done that would've changed it and that's okay cuz it was exactly how it was meant to be.
jimmi: So that helped me a lot, but I completely get the anxiety of it all.
And what it's helped me a lot is giving myself. Grace and comfort when that is happening. So I wear comfy clothes. I have like a comfort meal. JJ was great. He was fully prepared in what was gonna happen. So we had lots of cuddle nights and just-
jimmi: That's it. And to give yourself that cuz you work yourself to the bone and are burnt out afterwards.
jimmi: So to just kind of take that pause, don't jump back into life too quickly. Take that time. I found it was really helpful because it is, it's, it can be very consuming and hard to deal with. Yeah, for sure.
kat: Yeah. And I think the post wedding blues is definitely not like the sexy side of weddings, right?
Yes. People. And that's kind of what we're trying to do here is bring these non-sexy moments of wedding planning and the wedding journey to light, because we all do go through this.
Mm-hmm. and I'm not ready for [00:27:00] that. I'm like, I don't wanna put anything on like, oh, what if this or that, you know, it'll happen.
And how it happens will happen. Mm-hmm. but like, yeah, you're saying, my, my friend got married this past summer and the next morning she immediately was like, can I talk to you? And I was like, yeah, what's wrong? And she's like, I just, I know I shouldn't be feeling this right now, but like, I just, I feel like my hair wasn't the way I wanted it to look.
And like, I don't, I can't stop thinking about it. And she was like thinking about it during the whole reception, but didn't want it to like, take away. I could cry like, cuz I love her so much and she looked so beautiful. But it's like, there will always be one thing.
jimmi: Oh yes.
kat: That could have been a little bit different.
A little bit. I don't even wanna say better because like you can't, no, you can't guarantee it was gonna be better either way.
jimmi: And that's it. Cuz like for me there was like, well what if I could squeeze in this picture? Or like, I wanted this. And it's like, well no, if you had, then maybe it would've made it even late.
And, and I mean, you guys know, like being in theater a lot of times things can mess up in shows. Yeah. But the audience has no idea.
kat: Exactly. The show goes on.
jimmi: Exactly the, that's it. Honestly, theater can apply to so many things. I'm [00:28:00] obsessed.
kat: There's also a common this idea post uh, show Blues in theater.
jimmi: Oh yes. That is a real thing too.
kat: Yes. And so when I learned about this concept, I was like, oh, it makes sense because whenever you have, Such a high going for so long for this one thing and then it's over and it happens so fast.
jimmi: Exactly. And I think too, so my bachelorette, my sister playing the entire thing, like literally I did not know what we were doing till we arrived at different places.
kat: Wow. I would literally throw up,
jimmi: oh my gosh.
I was terrified. But what I did is I found a hacky medium. Cuz at first I said do everything you want. And then I was like, wait, I actually really wanna do this and I wanna do that.
kat: Wait, I need to know where we're going.
jimmi: Exactly. I was like, here's a list of what I wanna do.
Yeah. And so they just handled it. But to me it was like the best trip of my life cuz I had had no clue was going on. I didn't know what went wrong cuz I had no idea.
jimmi: Now with both my shower and my wedding, obviously I planned everything to a, to a tea. Like I had a huge hand in my shower. Mm-hmm . And so for both of those like yes.
While they were amazing, I knew in the back of my head what went. . And like I said, it was little things like you [00:29:00] ask any of my guests, like it was the best wedding ever. It was so fun. And it's like, that's great, but you always have that in your head and, and what I kind of came to terms with was for me, I find there's like versions of myself.
jimmi: and I felt like inside me, like wedding planning, Jimmy was so anxious and really wanted this day to be everything that it could be that she put all this work into. Yeah. So it was really her like, Hey, did we do it? Was it okay? Are you happy? And so what I did is just a lot of self-talk too was being like, it was amazing and it's everything you could have wanted.
kat: Like yeah, but your guests had such a great time. You married the person you love.
jimmi: And that's, at the end of the day, the best. And I will say, I mean, I knew marriage would be good, but for me, oh my gosh, it exceeded every expectation. Like it is the best , highly recommend 10 outta 10.
kat: 10 outta 10. Get married.
jimmi: Get married. It's fun. But yeah. So what I found too that was so helpful to go through those post wedding blues. Was to have videos immediately and photos. So highly recommend having a bridesmaid or someone close, like who's savvy with taking that kind of stuff. [00:30:00] Just take videos and pictures of everything because then when I would be second guessing myself of am was I super happy the entire day as I should be, which obviously you don't have to be.
Most of my morning I was super chill and just relaxing. And then obviously you have the best time of your life.
jimmi: But that really helped to validate the feelings I was feeling and all of that, and to just get to relive the day. Cuz I'm like, okay, yes, I'm feeling these feelings now. I'm feeling these regrets and I'm like all of these and second guessing everything.
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: But even I'm two months now past my wedding. Those are kind of fading and the joyful moments are staying.
jimmi: So it's like it, that's the biggest thing is. If you do experience them, I am sorry I'm here for you sending hugs. Cause it is, you're not alone.
kat: So hard.
jimmi: You're not alone. And that's something I've shared a lot about in like kind of every stage of what it's like and the things people don't talk about.
Like we, when we get home from your wedding, all of the decor and leftover alcohol, the suitcase is gifts. [00:31:00] Our house was an absolute mess. . Oh my gosh. And so I shared that on my TikTok.
jimmi: And so many people are like, that's something that no one talks about is yes, your home will be a mess. .
jimmi: So I think if you can try, don't focus on it like you said and be like, And the impending doom of when my wedding is over.
kat: Mm-hmm. ,
jimmi: but already have a plan in the back of your head of how will I comfort myself? How will I give myself this time after? Yeah. I think that really helps a lot.
kat: Yeah. And like knowing yourself and knowing like, I like comfy clothes when I'm not feeling my best. Like little things like that where you can, yeah.
Just provide what you need in those moments for yourself.
jimmi: Yes. Yeah. And even doing a bit of self-talk on wedding day too, and taking, oh my gosh. Put moments into your day. Like plan those moments out.
jimmi: So that way you don't have any regrets or anything. Like my brides man, Alonzo saw that I was just overwhelmed with.
I was like, okay, this day that I've been dreaming about for my entire life is here. How am I supposed to be feeling? What should this be? And instead [00:32:00] just, just be, he just held my hand, like rubbed my back and was like, you got this. Like this is, this is your day. This is your moment. But like, we had moments built in that I think helped so much in that, cuz like I said, you black out and then there's these special moments and you are partying and having fun and then it's done.
jimmi: So like we had a moment at the beginning of our ceremony where after my parents like, gave, gave, I don't say gave me away cuz I chose this.
kat: Walked you down the aisle.
jimmi: Walked me down the aisle. Yeah. But once we were, I was with jj, we had a moment where we got a turnaround and we looked at everyone there and our fishing had this little speech saying like, just take this moment in.
This is the one time in your life all of your loved ones are here.
Yeah. And oh, that was, that's still ingrained in my head.
jimmi: And so, yeah, like taking a moment to. and if you, because I had those moments on my day of, is my lipstick okay? Like right after pictures?
jimmi: like, I don't know, but I tell myself it doesn't matter.
jimmi: you're here right now. Enjoy. Go to the people like your coordinator will be your best friend on wedding day. My maid of honor was huge. Go to them and tell them your [00:33:00] potential concerns or just have a designated person, I would say on your day.
jimmi: That you. Talk to you all the time and be like, Hey, I'm not happy about this, not happy about that.
And I promise you, like they can help cover that for you. Yeah. Let's see. That's a good one. I could go on and on about that. Oh my gosh.
kat: And honestly, it, it is actually one of the most popular topics that we've covered on our podcast is post wedding blues. We- we've had an episode in the past with Priscilla from Modern Wellness Counseling.
Wow. But I think. I think we should have another episode where we talk more about it and, and bring up these real stories and, and things like that with Priscilla.
jimmi: So that's a great idea.
kat: Bridal babes. Remind me slash Brianna also remind me . Okay. Um, the top comment said, hi. Yes, me too. Wedding was two weekends ago, and while I and all of our guests had a blast, I'm also struggling with the regrets of things I wish I would've done differently.
For me, it feels more like FOMO than anxiety. Yeah. Like I wish I would've made more of an effort to see, talk to all of our guests. And I wish [00:34:00] I ate more of our amazing food to name a few. I've gotten some advice to focus on a new different project to fill the void or wedding planning, being over, and to make a scrapbook notebook of memories from our wedding day with, with my new spouse, staying with the feelings of regret and the woulda, coulda, should- as.
Won't make you feel any better about it. Yes. But holding onto the moments of joy will help.
jimmi: That's- oh my gosh.
kat: Exactly what you just said.
jimmi: Exactly. Mm-hmm. . That's exactly it. Oh my gosh.
kat: Mm-hmm. and op comments. This makes me feel so much better. Crying face emoji.
jimmi: See, cause that's it. And yeah, I mean, I talked about this in that like, feel like wedding planning can be really isolating.
jimmi: Cause it's this unique chapter that you're in and I mean, you can tell your friends and family about it, but they're kind of annoyed when they're hearing you say it.
jimmi: they're like, mm, okay, we love you, but stop talking about your wedding.
kat: They're like, they only wanna talk about like the fun things about your wedding and not like, like
jimmi: not when napkin colors, you want Like, they're like, no, I don't care.
kat: Like, but what drinks are we drinking?
jimmi: Literally, it's like-
kat: how long is the bar open?
jimmi: Yes. So then you go through this isolating experience that everyone [00:35:00] shares in this joint. and then you're kind of isolated again in this post wedding Blues.
jimmi: Mm-hmm. . So I think so many brides feel it and just getting to talk about it and have these forums like this is so helpful.
kat: Yeah. Yeah.
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Okay, so let's move on to a different topic. So this is off true off my chest.
kat: This subreddit is basically a place to vent.
kat: It's a place to kind of just like put it out there because you don't really have other people. You can talk about these things, so they're not necessarily looking for advice or like asking a question, but
kat: they just need people to know,
jimmi: okay, ooh, juicy.,
kat: My mom didn't come to my wedding? And our relationship will never be the. [00:37:00] The long and short of it is that my mom has been fighting with some of her own family members. She expected me not to invite or Uninvite family that she didn't want to see at my wedding.
We were at odds over it for roughly two weeks before the wedding, and I guess my mom thought I would bend the knee. I did not.
jimmi: That's good.
kat: I'm like, that's crazy that it was two weeks before the wedding and this is a conversation.
jimmi: Oh yeah. That there's already so many things going through your head,
kat: like, whew, like you're waiting until now to tell me about a, a guest list situation.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: Okay. Anyway, back to the story. My significant other and I invited the people we wanted, I invited some family members she was fighting with, but not all of them because I am only close to some, I was hoping things would resolve before then. Worst case, you set aside differences at things like weddings.
kat: I completely did not expect my mom to act this way. Likewise, my mom thought I would, should value her comfort for one day over my relationship with other family members.
jimmi: [00:38:00] Mm.
kat: I am just at a loss, my significant other, and I planned and paid for the wedding ourselves.
kat: We got married in May of 2022.
A few weeks before my wedding, my sister called me out of the blue to let me know she wouldn't be at the wedding, but wished me well. This ended up being a crazy phone call where my sister accused me of completely ridiculous things, called me rude names, and we ended up screaming at each other all over my mom, all, all because of my mom's family fighting that both, that both me and my sister are not involved with in any way.
My mom seemed to have unloaded a lot of unspoken frustration to my sister, all the family drama now having to be in the same room with those people. She also embellished slash lied about a lot of random things regarding me when on the phone. My sister was under some impression that my mom invested in my wedding.
She had not. My sister felt I was intentionally subjecting my mom to pain and suffering by exposing her to her own [00:39:00] siblings, as if I didn't know my uncle, aunt, cousins at all. I had no malicious intent. They had been invited months before things escalated. My mom and some of her siblings are fighting about my late grandpa's estate.
It's a long story, but it's ultimately none of my business. They all have a lawyer about it. Now I know enough to know that my mom is being petty and unwilling to compromise, and it's driven people crazy. So on the phone, I tried finding some common ground with my sister, but she was literally disgusted with me.
A lot of what she said too about me on this call was pretty awful. We have never even had a disagreement as adults, and now I was on the most vicious fight ever. I better understand how people go no contact with their family. So in the end, my mom and sister did not attend my wedding because she didn't want to face people I e her own siblings.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: We haven't spoke much since the wedding, which has now been six plus months. It's been bizarre to suddenly have such [00:40:00] a poor relationship with my mom. I didn't realize our whole bond was this fragile. My mom feels I should, as her daughter, fight her fights. I'm not that kind of person. I won't hate people just because she does.
She feels betrayed by this. For someone who was all about family, I didn't expect this would be the hill she'd die on. She's always been one of those people who prides themselves so much on being a mom. But she was Mia a a lot for me. And this is just per the course, I suppose, or part of the course. I don't know what that phrase is... par of the course. Makes sense. Sometimes I'm struck by how I haven't heard from my mom in so long. It was just a misunderstanding. Bad communication, emotions running high. Right. Then I realized that my mom and sister have not reached out to me at all in six months. I've messaged them. They have unfriended me on social media.
Wow. I'm just at a lost. Uh, mo Most days I shrug it off, but some days it just makes me feel sad. We [00:41:00] were never that close. I've been rejected by my own mom.
jimmi: Oh my gosh. That's just heartbreaking.
kat: So heartbreaking.
jimmi: And I get it. I had a family member that didn't come to the wedding.
jimmi: And yeah. And so it's, it is hard.
And, and because
kat: of some sort of dynamic with another family member
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: Mm-hmm. . And so it was, while it was unfortunate, I think it was definitely for the best. And so at the end of the day, while it is sad, what helped me get through it was that it was never a reflection of me. It was their decision, their decision to walk away.
They have decision to live with. And that's on them. It's your day period. So you need to have- I agree with her. And that you need to have people there that you are close with who support you. And that's something too, I feel like weddings just heighten emotions and issues. And, and I mean, I've had friends that like, were a part of my wedding where I thought nothing would break [00:42:00] us.
jimmi: And out of nowhere, it's just, unfortunately you just don't talk to them anymore.
jimmi: And it is, it's heartbreaking.
jimmi: and yes, I'm like, I don't know. Weddings, something about weddings does. Yes. Right now, all of those different dynamics that no one really like will address or talk about. Yeah.
kat: And so it's hard.
I don't, I don't really know what it is about weddings.
kat: that is such a trigger for people to feel like they are, they have a sense of entitlement.
jimmi: Yes. You know, you think it's their day and it's like you. Have the people in your life that are going to put whatever they have going on aside to be there for you.
jimmi: And period.
jimmi: That's it. And I will take nothing else. No. Like it's not worth it. Yeah. The amount of stress and the fact that she was dealing with this like two weeks before her wedding. I know. Oh my gosh. Like my mine occurred like four to six weeks before the wedding, which is still pretty close.
Yeah. That's crazy. But two weeks before, like that should be the last thing on your mind.
jimmi: And it's like people need to take a hint or context or [00:43:00] something in that like, yeah,
kat: like Mom should be asking, how can I help? Right now I'm not. Yes. Um, why did you invite Susie Lou and Bobby Boo? And you know, like,
jimmi: and it's like, who cares?
kat: like you don't have to sit next to them at dinner. Like, you don't have to even look them in the eye, mom. No. Like
jimmi: that's the thing on wedding day, it's so busy. Yeah. Like there's so many people there. You don't have to talk to them. Like, just again, like put it aside and be there. So when you think people that will put it aside, don't, yeah.
It's heartbreaking. It is heartbreaking.
And my heart goes out to her, but it's like, just stay true to yourself. Life's too short. Have the people who are going to be there for you there and yeah. And just try your best. Cuz I know it's so hard and you wanna take it personal, but just try your very best to just let it go.
Yeah. And accept it. Yeah. And it's, it's so hard
kat: and it breaks my heart that she says that all of this is stemming from. Like an estate issue. Like it sounds like their parent passed away and now all the siblings are being torn apart [00:44:00] over their will. And I feel like that funerals and weddings, this is what a bridal babe sent me once.
Funerals and weddings bring out the worst in people.
jimmi: Yes, yes. It's so true.
kat: And they're, it's both of them right here causing, you know, and if maybe the mom is going through a lot of crazy grief right now where she's not thinking straight.
kat: she's prob, you know, she might be emotionally still fighting.
Maybe she's on her dad's side and her siblings aren't, or you know, who knows what's going on. But she might have a lot of emotional healing to do and she might not be ready to be around those siblings.
jimmi: And Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. And so it's like, while, while the timing is incredibly unfortunate, it's almost.
If she gets to a point after the wedding where she wants to talk about it all you can. You can only control yourself.
jimmi: And that's what you can do in terms of if you want to talk to her about this, if you want a relationship, like you have the power in all of this and what you want. Same thing through wedding planning like.
you can only control [00:45:00] yourself.
jimmi: So if they're going to make that decision because they are clouded by other factors, it, it sucks. Like it's just so unfortunate with the timing, but it's also like you can't control how they're going to react. And all you can do is focus on you and your partner and the decisions that are best for you all on your wedding day.
kat: Oh, the wise words from Jimmy.
jimmi: Thank you. . Oh gosh. .
kat: And it's crazy that it has been, I mean, what is it now? I don't see an update. This was this week that they posted this, but it, so it's been six months from their wedding. That's so sad. It's just, yeah. It's so heartbreaking that they still haven't heard anything.
Like I've, I don't know if I've shared this on the podcast yet because I'm like, still we're figuring out the order of podcast release.
jimmi: Oh, of course. Yeah.
kat: But I do have a family member who right after I got engaged, like a month after, reached out to me and let me know that they did not support me getting married to Jackson.
And they went off on all of these like wild. ...um, . Like there was no grounding to these claims they were making, [00:46:00] they were just like out there.
jimmi: Oh no.
kat: And so I've had to make the decision not to have this person at my wedding and
kat: It's hard for my other family members to understand, but I have to make that decision for myself and for my partner.
And that has been one of the hardest things I've had to deal with in my wedding planning process.
jimmi: Oh my gosh. And that's something too, you're not only making this decision between the two of you and the person that are you coming to this decision with, but also other people
jimmi: and how other people will feel and react.
And especially when it is family, that can be a hard line
jimmi: To, to wanna cross and everything. But I just commend you on putting up your boundaries that is essential on wedding day.
kat: Thank you. Thank you .
jimmi: And sticking to it. And the real family and friends will understand.
jimmi: And. Their opinions aside.
kat: Well, and you know, like, yeah. So it's, I'm just excited to have the people who love both of us there on that day and
kat: are excited to [00:47:00] celebrate us coming together and the growth that we've gone through in our almost seven years of dating, you know?
jimmi: Yes. And I love when you said there and that support both of us.
jimmi: That is essential too. Like, oh yeah. You don't, your wedding day should just be a day full of joy. You shouldn't have to have in the back of your head these dynamics.
kat: Yeah. And what will happen.
So, yes. Yeah. Love that.
kat: And I'm like, I'm so sorry. But even if this person decides, okay, you know what? I love you.
I'll, you know, I'll support you. I don't care. Like you're still not invited because I don't need that lingering in the back of my head.
Mm-hmm. . It's just too raw at this point. Like, oh yeah. I, yeah. So moving on from my own traumas,
let's see. Um, Okay, so the top comment, and this has a yellow square, which means like it has a bunch of awards.
kat: A lot of people, it's got a 2000 up votes on this comment.
kat: So a lot of people are like, thumbs up.
kat: So they said her sense of [00:48:00] entitlement and her need to have the world revolve around her was more important than her own child.
kat: At the heart of it, that is what this is. She dragged your sister into it via manipulations, which we didn't even talk about. The sister being dragged.
jimmi: Oh my gosh. You're right.
kat: like sister needs to make her own decisions. Yes.
jimmi: Yeah. Agree. Like again, don't let family members opinions.
jimmi: oh gosh. Yep.
kat: Yep. Okay. So she dragged your sister into it via manipulations and lies. Just to have one person on her side at the end, w because she knew everyone else. Had just about enough of her, had had just about enough of her. And that you were strong and smart and not easily cowed. Oh, code. How do C O W E D? I'm not good at English.
Yeah, maybe that's a UK thing maybe. Yeah, I'm going with that. .
kat: Yeah. Not easily cowed by her.
jimmi: That has to be me a uk thing.
kat: - Ridiculously selfish demands. In the end, it's not much of a loss. What you are missing is the idea of having a loving [00:49:00] dotting mother than you could trust and have a healthy relationship with and
jimmi: that is something too, is like, it was one of my fears of, will it be very prominent in my head or noticeable throughout the day.
jimmi: Honestly, it wasn't, well, I mean, there were like maybe two little moments where it was like a little blip, like, oh yeah, so and so isn't here. Mm-hmm. . But overall there's, yeah.
kat: It's not, it's not the most important thing.
jimmi: Like, it's not, cuz the most important thing is being with your person.
kat: And I'm like, on, I'm in this phase of like, you can't steal my joy anymore.
jimmi: Like, yes.
kat: Bye. Oh, and that is crucial in life and in wedding planning. Yes. Yes. Don't let anyone, this is supposed to be a joyous occasion.
jimmi: Don't let anyone steal your joy, cuz I promise you it's not worth it.
kat: Ugh. This comment is really long and I just don't even wanna get into it. So we're gonna move on like I am so over this topic. I can't talk about it. Yes.
jimmi: I feel like we added enough to the comment.
kat: Yes. I think we, we said what we needed to say.
jimmi: Yes. Agreed. .
kat: Okay, so this one is a, is like barely even a post. It's more a picture than, um Oh, a thread.
kat: [00:50:00] So it's from the wedding sub subreddit. It's called vent psa. If you're a wedding guest, this isn't cool info and comments and it shows a picture of the RSVP card and it has an X next to will attend.
And then it says, number of persons seven.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: Yeah. And so I wanted to bring this up and I'll, I'll show this to you guys via, you know, editing. Yes. Um, on YouTube. If, if you're listening on podcast, you're not gonna be able to see the picture, obviously. Yeah.
jimmi: So go follow and watch on YouTube. Yeah.
kat: to our YouTube channel. , um, okay. So basically I wanted to talk about this whole, like how do you get people to understand how many RSVPs they get, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So give me your, your 2 cents on that.
jimmi: Great question cuz that was something I was so picky about because. I like, I have a lot of married and engaged friends.
My husband had a lot of like single friends and [00:51:00] so we were very first off, be picky on the criteria for these people. Say and have it be the baseline for you. Like now you don't have to tell someone you've only been dating for two and a half years, you can't come cuz our limit is three.
jimmi: Like don't do that but have it in the back of your head when you are deciding who gets plus one's.
That's super important. Then I say right from the get-go, already be planting it in their head. So us personally, we did email invites and so I would put the two names of those people specifically. So I'd be like
jimmi: Kat and Jackson. Yeah, you're both obviously invited. We would have like I had some theater fam, family friends who.
And so I was very close with one of their child children. But then the other two, not so much like I knew them, but I'm like, you don't need to be at my wedding.
kat: Yeah. Like, so sorry, like love you, but yeah
jimmi: but no . And so same for that I would say X, Y, and Z. And so that kind of helped already. And then on my wedding website, my putting in the q and a [00:52:00] only designated people on the invitations aren't embedded to the wedding.
Now I also, with the help of one of my husband's friends who's encoding, I made an RSVP on my website and same thing, it would only, like once you typed your name in it would then say you have two invites.
jimmi: And then it would have the names of both those people and you could click will attend or will not.
So then they had no other way of writing in somebody because that's, it is so disrespectful. Like weddings are so expensive.
jimmi: And it's your day. Like we said, you're being selective on the close people you want there. So if you're just gonna write in people, that's a big no-no.
jimmi: And so that was what I found was the best way is just kind of always reinforcing it and putting it in subtly.
jimmi: That helped a lot now. So we did have some people. Who we like initially didn't give a plus one who then said, Hey, is it okay? And I mean, we would then, by that point we had enough RSVPs that were like, okay, we know you, we have some leftover, sure you can come. But I just yeah. Be very proactive.
jimmi: [00:53:00] And direct about it all. And that helps a lot cuz ah, that just, it's so frustrating.
kat: Yeah. I don't know what goes through somebody's mind unless it says like, to you and your whole family on the invitation.
kat: Um, I don't know why anyone would assume that. It's just like, Tell me how many people you're bringing up to you.
jimmi: Oh my gosh.
kat: 13. Sure. Like what?
jimmi: You know, and so that was something, I mean, hey, if you wanna do paper invites, I totally respect it. But that was something that I really liked and that I had control of it. Yeah. I used paperless posts for my invites. Cute. Oh my gosh, it's so helpful.
kat: Yes. I did that for my engagement party.
That was so, so cute.
jimmi: It's so easy. And so that way too, you can track, you can message people.
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: So if like, we had one person, I think right in like their grandson, and so we're like, yes, of course we have room. But if someone had to come in and been like seven more people mm-hmm. I would've been like, excuse me,
jimmi: Like, you know. Yeah. So I think that digitally helped a lot. Yeah. Cuz we could interact with them quickly [00:54:00] and put the brakes on it. Mm-hmm.
kat: and kind of like what you did digitally is what this person is saying to do is basically mm-hmm. , I was afraid of something like this happening for upcoming weddings.
So in the RSVP cards I put something like, we have reserved two seats for you.
kat: please indicate how many will be attending.
jimmi: Mm-hmm. .
kat: I've also seen people. Put blank of two guests, you know, like they'll put blank of blank and then they'll manually write in like two or four. Because I do have some people that I'm inviting their whole family.
Oh yeah. Like all your kids can come.
kat: And they, they will have maybe seven people, six people
jimmi: Oh yeah.
kat: That are coming with their group. But not everybody should be allowed that many. So yes, I think it's just important to make sure the wording is as direct as possible.
kat: I've also been seeing this with like guest attire, dress codes, where things are like daytime, formal, garden, um, whimsical, e eclectic.
jimmi: And it's like, yes.
kat: What? Excuse me. What is that? What department store do I go to?
jimmi: [00:55:00] Yes.
kat: Just tell me Formal.
kat: Tell me Semi-formal.
jimmi: Mm-hmm. .
kat: And then there's like dress to impress, which go off. Like you can wear anything except for white. .
jimmi: Um, oh my gosh, yes. Yes, exactly. Like, no, do not. That was something I put on my q and a too.
I was like, yeah, don't worry. Oh my gosh. FAQ section. Kind of the same thing. Yeah, I, yeah, basically, yeah. I'm like, I'm mentioning your question. Yeah. But yes, like I was so descriptive. And then I had a lot of people too, where everyone has their own definition of formal, semi-formal cocktail.
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: So I had a lot of people that would ask me questions, and I had one bridesmaid, the sweetest girl in the world, her boyfriend was coming with her. I had that strict, don't wear a white rule. Well, she was like, he wants to wear a white dress shirt. Is that okay? I'm like, okay.
jimmi: I'm talking about the girl that's gonna roll up and like the white satin cocktail dress.
No, honey, don't do that.
kat: Mm-hmm. .
jimmi: And I'm like, yes, of course. Wear a white dress shirt.
kat: Yeah. Like some men don't have anything but a white dress shirt.
jimmi: Exactly. I'm like, J's gonna be in white. Yeah. Like that's fine.
jimmi: And so, [00:56:00] yes, like definitely be open to those questions and giving specifics. Like either put that on your website cuz so many people are like, do I have to wear like a ball gown?
I'm like, no. Just like below your knee. Like I don't care. Yeah. Yeah. But I will tell you also on the day, it's like you are just so happy and it goes so fast. So it's like whatever. Okay, you did that. It's something we can laugh about years from now.
kat: Yeah. You're not like, wow, it's black tie and you're wearing a midi.
jimmi: Yeah. Like, Hmm. Okay. . It's definitely something to like look back on and laugh. Yeah. But definitely be proactive if it is important to you
kat: For sure. Yeah. Yeah. And actually on that topic, we have a story that I found on Reddit that is just, Perfect to, to piggyback off of that. Okay, cool. It's from the wedding subreddit.
Okay. And it's unpopular opinion. I'm a bride and getting annoyed with the amount of, can I wear this text I'm getting. My wedding is this Saturday and I am now starting to get an influx of can I wear this type of text from our guests? And at this point I just leave them on red. Honestly, all of those outfits are fine and I [00:57:00] appreciate them being considerate, but I have way more stuff to care about than the guests outfits.
jimmi: Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Completely agree. Cuz that's it too. It's like I would honestly at that point, just start sending my faq, I know I'm confusing myself. My FAQ is on my website. I would just start sending that to them. Yeah. And I'd be like, no, my maid of honor was amazing too. And she was like, if you get any questions, forward them to me.
Mm-hmm. like, you don't need to worry about it.
kat: Yeah. That's what I would say is like, have a designated person on the website too, where it's like, this is the phone number to text.
jimmi: Yes. Like I put
jimmi: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Cuz I, I put my wedding coordinator.
jimmi: I was like, if you have any day of questions, please refer to so-and-so here.
jimmi: Because that's it. It's like, I'm not going to answer your texts.
kat: Mm-hmm. but people still texted you.
jimmi: I honestly didn't get too many texts that day.
jimmi: Which was great.
kat: And you, and you made it very clear on your website what the dress code was. So I'm hoping that helped reduce the amount of influx you got.
jimmi: Yes. And I think as we had so many out of town people coming in, like they were planning far ahead. So I got those texts like a week or two out.
jimmi: And so that helped a lot too. But yeah, [00:58:00] just be clear. Be clear from the start on your wedding website. Give us much detail as possible. And yeah, that's one thing.
It's like, okay, I'm happy that you're asking questions, but that's annoying. Like stop And so any, but like don't he literally, yeah. Like we were on my way to my rehearsal and my family members are asking me questions that are so basic and I was like, no. And I literally said, I don't have time. I don't have time to talk to you.
Ask so and so. Yeah. And so yeah, how bride busy, who's just knowledgeable and just be like, talk to her. Don't talk to me. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yes.
kat: Okay, so they're referring to the fact that a lot of people on this subreddit tell people who ask about guest outfits to ask the bride.
jimmi: Oh gosh.
kat: So they're saying blame the members here who tell people to ask the bride all the time.
No grown adult should have to ask the bride what to wear. savage.
jimmi: That's is savage. I wouldn't say ask the groom, but he may also not be aware. So I'm like, yeah, get hi. Either get him in on the loop and say, just ask him or. Bridesmaid .
kat: Yeah. Yeah. When, when people ask my groom questions, it just turns into him asking me, and
jimmi: [00:59:00] so, and then it's more work.
So yeah, just, just ask a bridesmaid.
kat: Yeah, just, yeah, ask the maid of honor. Ask the planner. Maybe even the mother of the bride has some answers. Yeah.
jimmi: Yes. Or just simply send them the links so you like, mm-hmm. , look here.
kat: I'm like, Siri, is there an auto response offer for iMessage that you can give me that needs to be a thing?
jimmi: for real.
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Okay, so this is our last story.
jimmi: Okay .
kat: This one is like crazy,
jimmi: oh my gosh.
kat: And I, gosh, could not imagine being in this situation.